Getting there

Had probably one of the most amazing moments so far during my pregnancy. I've had other great moments, but this makes it so much more real. I felt my babies kick. I've been feeling it for a little while but never when I actually touched my belly. I just pushed down gently & there it was! Was a bit strange at first, but by far the most amazing thing ever! Jason even got to feel it too. Think it freaked him out at first but then he thought it was pretty cool.

Now onto some news about Jason. He starts school this Monday at Bates. He isn't happy at Nordstrom's anymore & it is time for him to make a change. He will still be working there of course while going to school. So yep, that leaves me to take care of the boys when they arrive. Thankfully my mom is spending 6 weeks (or more!) with us when they arrive. What a huge help that will be. To some the timing of this might be wrong, but people do this sort of thing all the time & although it is hard, they make it work. This is to benefit our families future, which is all that matters to me. I know this next year will be hard, but I am so proud of Jason. This cannot be easy for him either.

Our last dr. appt went really well. Babies heartbeats are still great. Go back in a few weeks for the glucose test. Not really looking forward to that, but you do what you've got to do, right? I got my pre-registration papers for the hospital too. I had a mini-breakdown then. Right there in the dr. office. I know it is coming up, but it is just scary. We also talked about the fact that I will have a scheduled c-section. But we would talk more about that at my next appointment. I guess that is comforting to me in a way. Now my mom will know for sure when to show up. It hasn't been easy going through this without her here with me, so I am beyond thrilled that she will be here for this. Not that she would EVER miss this for the world. These are her first you know!

BIG ultrasound

Our ultrasound went really good on Monday. Couldn't believe that they measure EVERY inch of those 2 babies. They are both doing great, very active little turkeys. Baby A is head down at the moment & Baby B is head-up, but kinda to the side. Explains the little twinges I get in my side! Baby B was very much the camera hog, everytime the poor u/s tech tried to get just an image of Baby A, Baby B would stick his foot or hand or head right in the way. I think that one is going to be our little trouble maker! But it really was great to see them moving around. Baby A was difficult to tell the sex at first, so it was off to Baby B. Once she moved the little wand over, Baby B was not shy about a thing.... He is a boy & is sooo proud of it! :) After taking his measurments, the u/s tech tried again to tell the sex of Baby A, she is pretty sure it is also a boy. Hopefully it stays the same whenever I go in for my next u/s. I like saying, "my boys". :)
It was such a huge relief to know they are both doing great. Baby A is 12oz. Baby is 13oz. Can't believe it! They actually look like little babies now, not some strange creatures.

We are going to register tomorrow, so I am excited for that. Their nursery is nearly done... just little odds & ends we need now. Can't get over how fast this is all going. But it is so exciting.

Total Freak

My appt is what, 6 days away? I am totally freaking out. I always, always get myself worked up over this stuff & everything turns out fine. I don't know what my deal is. I am so freaked out about this ultrasound. For whatever reason I have this thought in my head that the babies are dead. Don't ask me why I think this. I've felt little twinges on both sides off & on lately. Their heartbeats were great on Christmas Eve & my bloodwork came out great. This is such a big milestone, if that is what you want to call it. We've got all this baby gear set up in their nursery & my fear is that it will be all taken away. Sometimes feels like this is all a big blur or something. I haven't totally forgotten all the stuff I did to get to this point. All the pokes & Doctors all up in my business. I think after struggling that long, a part of me just expected it not to happen for us, & even now, with my big gut hanging over my pants, I am still sort of in denial & thinking it is all just a dream. When I wake up, it will all be gone.
I know stressing isn't good for the babies or myself, & I am trying to chill out, really I am. Just want them to be ok & healthy. And the thought of them not, makes my heart ache. I loved them even when they weren't a "them". When they were just little blastocysts. I love the ones that are in storage for goodness sakes! Those are "future babies". Maybe this is all hormonal? Who knows? I've been in this weepy stage for awhile now, maybe that is what is going on.
Everything will be ok. I know this somewhere in my pea brain. Just needed to vent. Jason & I are putting one of the cribs together tomorrow, so that is pretty exciting. We've come a long way!

For Christia: Here are the links to our furniture & bedding..... :)
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3245139 -crib

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3382626 changing table
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3045325 bedding

Will we or won't we?

Sadly we have to wait until we are 20 weeks to have our ultrasound, which is really only 9 days away. I suppose I can wait a bit longer! :) Our appt is on Jan. 12 @ 7:15am! Kinda early, but I don't care, I am anxious. Just hoping I can hold all that water they want me to drink. I really am trying not to get my hopes up, just in case 1 or both babies are not positioned right, but gosh, I hope they are!
We got our bloodwork back....no sign of down syndrome or cystic fibrosis. That is a relief.
I got our changing table put together, think I may have over-done it, cause I was pretty achy afterwords, but it was sooo worth it. Turned out really nice. Our cribs should be here early next week. Jason is in charge of putting those together. My days of putting baby stuff together I think is over! I ordered our bedding too, should be getting that next week as well. May seem soon for all of this, but I really want to get as much done now so I can chill out later. I am excited too about decorating that nursery, so that doesn't help much either.
I am only 18 weeks, but I am really starting to slow down a bit. Thought I had more time before this set in. I know that I have twins, so it is different, but sometimes I feel really helpless & sometimes even useless. It is something I am just going to have to accept.

Well, keep your fingers crossed we will find out what we are having & that they babes' are healthy.