Mad Scientist

I did it!!!! Mixed my Menopur ( with the help of a you-tube video) & injected it. Piece of cake! Did my Follistum w/ the pen thanks to the handy video they gave us at injections class. That one is pretty easy. The Menopur will be o.k once I get the hang of it. Thankfully they give you a Q-Cap, that makes it easier transfering the solution over to the powder to mix it. It stung a bit afterwords, but other than that, it was o.k. My poor tummy is a pin-cushion. It is getting difficult remembering which side I injected. Never thought I would ever say this, but thank god for my "pouch" under my belly-button. Swear that makes all the difference. :) Figured I better update tonight because I got lots of stuff to do tomorrow. It is almost 11:30pm now, not really tired, probably not going to sleep much since Jason isn't here. Not used to it. Come to think of it, this is my first time alone in this big house! Scary! Just wanted to update on my progress again. Going to go get ready for bed & finish reading "breaking dawn". Won't update until Tuesday, that is my first appt. after stims.........

Accepted in the IVF Club!

The suppression check went good. Was hard to tell at first during the ultrasound. My re kept asking about if my cycles were normal or not, which they never have been. So, long story short, the Lupron shots I've been taking has been doing what it was supposed to. That means I was doing the shot right after all. I knew it was going in, but it is weird to me that you stick it either in your thigh or tummy & it makes your ovaries "sleep". Strange. I got the green light on that side, then it was off to get blood work to make sure my estrogen was where it should be. I met with Fran, my IVF boss-lady & she gave me my schedule. My dosage hasn't changed from what they originally planned, but they started me on Saturday night(that is tonight...YIKES!) instead of Friday night. They are trying to make my schedule the same as my re so I can see her face instead of someone Else's. They only gave me my dosage for 3 days cause they are making me come in every other day to check my progress. Since I have PCOS, the stimulants I start taking tonight can make you over produce, which is called Ovarian Hyper stimulation Syndrome or OHSS for short. It is when too many follicles develop & then your ovaries begin to swell & enlarged. Severe cases, your ovaries stretch to 10cm or larger, you become sick, then fluid can get backed up in your chest & abdominal cavity. This happens in around 1% of people. And that is the severe cases. I am happy they are keeping such a close eye on me, but it is not that much fun driving in downtown Seattle traffic in the mornings.
I got the call later in the day & my estrogen was at 24.7, which she said was perfect. Yes, she said perfect. Hey, I will take whatever compliment I can get in regards to my body & what it is doing!
Tonight is my first shot at mixing the Menopur. I am nervous as hell about it, cause it seems so complicated & the needle is larger then the current one I use, so that will be interesting. The Follistim I am not worried about, cause it doesn't use a needle, it uses a pen. That one I am OK with. I will do that one first I think because I have a feeling the mixing of the other drug, will take me some time to figure out. It kinda sucks cause Jason is over visiting his dad, & I would like to have a 2Nd pair of eyes helping me out. But I am sure once I get it all straight, I will get the hang of it. I hope. If not, you will hear me screaming in frustration. I know I say this in every post, but this is all moving so fast. I am getting anxious. I wanna see what my eggs look like. I wanna see that picture of the ones they transfer. I am excited. Not too excited, cause this is still the beginning stages, but I find myself in a very fortunate position. Thankful I have supportive friends & family, that our insurance pays 80% of this, thankful for finally finding an re that actually wants to see me get knocked up, & thankful that no matter what happens with this cycle, I get to have a photo of them in the earliest stages of life. How magical is that? I know there is debate out there about mixing "Science" & nature, it is something I struggled with myself, but when I see the bigger picture, the whole process is a blessing. The fact that we have this kind of option is amazing. I am sure all the people who have to go this route would rather not & do it naturally. I think for me, I've been at this off & on for a few years now, & it sucks, but I am appreciating it so much more then if I got knocked up naturally. If I am blessed enough to have a child through this, I will look at him or her or them ( u never know, might be more than one) & know how hard I fought for them & that will just make me love them more & appreciate them that much more & thank god everyday that they are in my life. I'll post tomorrow about how the new shots went!! Keep your fingers crossed I do it right.

Day Before my Big Day

So tomorrow (the 28th) is my suppression check appt. at 8:45 am. Not thrilled with the early appt. & dealing with downtown Seattle traffic at that time. But if things go well, I will have to get used to early morning appts. once the daily bloodwork starts. Eeekkk..... I am a bit nervous about tomorrow. It is hard to tell if the Lupron injections I've been giving myself are working or not, nothing feels different I guess. I started my period just like I was supposed to after my last dose of birth control was on Saturday. So that is a good sign, right? I just hope that tomorrow goes well. I think the only thing that has changed is that I am a weepy mess. Even at work, I am a weepy mess. Thankfully the girls I work with are cool, & let me hide in the corner for a bit until I get over myself.
So tomorrow they will do an pelvic ultrasound to check that I am "suppressed", meaning no cysts have formed or anything & then bloodwork. If everything looks good, I will be accepted in the IVF Club. Would really suck to get to this point & have it cancelled, but I am trying to stay positive. I just get nervous about these things. If all goes well, I will get my schedule of doses of 2 more injections that I will have to give myself & any labs I will need done & on what days. Kind of scared to see that chart because we saw an example of one during our injections class, & it looked pretty crazy. Thankfully all the staff there are really helpful & patient, so that makes it a bit easier. Keep your fingers crossed that it all goes well for me tomorrow. I will post again when I get the news!

1st Shot

This morning was my first injection of Lupron. I've been pretty o.k this past week about giving this shot because the needle is pretty small. I watched my little video to refresh my memory a bit about what I was supposed to do. Got all my stuff together that I needed. Alcohol swabs, needle, Lupron, & my dosage sheet. I must have stared at my little "how-to" sheet that came with the medicine for a long time. I began to psyche myself out about it a bit. But there was just no other way around it. I told myself, that there are lots of other women out there who can do this & they are just fine, so I can do it too. I took a deep breath, pinched some fat on my tummy, & slid the needle in. Hardly even felt it. Once the needle was out, I started to shake. I am sure just out of sheer disbelief that I, who is not a fan of needles, just put one in my tummy!! I called Jason, who was out getting us our Sunday breakfast to tell him I did it. I think even he was shocked that I did it. But probably relieved that I didn't have to have him do it. He saw me getting all the stuff together before he left, made a strange face & took off. Hopefully that isn't a sign that the shots I need him to help me with because of their location, will be tough for him to do. It was all funny before but now that it is happening, the reality has set in a bit with him. Hopefully he can keep it together. I am proud of myself. Never in a million years did I think I had it in me to do something like this.

Injections 101

Yesterday was our class. There were 3 other couples in our group. I must say, & it probably isn't nice, but Bubs' & I were the youngest in the group. That was a boost for me! Doesn't guarantee that our outcome will be different from theirs. But I was nervous about who all would be in our group, what they looked like, how old they were, etc. We watched a 20 minute video & I took lots of notes like a good girl. Then our nurse came in with a tub full of stuff. The first shot I begin with will be a piece of cake. Use a small insulin needle & the dosage is very small. I will post more on that later. Then, it moves onto the mixing of the injections. Makes me wish I paid way more attention in chemistry class. I have an idea of what to do, but thankfully we can bring those in before we take them, & the staff will help us. So confusing about what needle goes with what syringe, what needle to use to mix this, this needle can only go here, blah,blah,blah..... Information overload for sure. I am going to take the nurses' advice, only leave out what you are currently taking, keep everything else hidden away so you don't get overwhelmed. And of course call if you have any questions. I am happy that the first shots will be o.k. I can totally handle that one. It can go either in your tummy below the belly button or in your upper thigh. I've got plenty of "cushion" on either area, but I am going to take it in the tummy. I can see that better. And not that I walk around in short shorts all the time, I like knowing my "track marks" will be hidden by a shirt. No doubt about it this has been one long journey, but what amazes me the most is how much I've grown. Never ever did I believe I would give myself injections for anything. Now look at me! So the countdown begins, one week from this Sunday, I put my new knowledge to the test!

S.I.S. Test

Yesterday was my S.I.S (saline infusion sonogram). It was some what funny because it was all the things I've done up to this point, but all at once. S.I.S is a lot like IUI's. Use the same catheter, but instead of injecting sperm, it is saline solution, then the little ultrasound wand goes in, they look around, measure, all that fun stuff. I couldn't tell what they were looking at. I've gotten pretty good with spotting my ovaries on that thing, but I once thought my bladder was a tumor! I am a bit dramatic what can I say? The dr. was wonderful & explained everything she was doing & what was on the screen I was looking at. She even cracked a little joke, which I won't repeat, but it totally made me relax. Either that or it was all the ibuprofen I pumped myself up with! My uterine lining was good & there were no polyps!! May sound lame to others, but that was a little victory for me. Made my whole day. She took a look at my ovaries to see what was going on. My right one had 6 "resting eggs" & the left had 2. She said Dr. Marshall will be happy with everything. Whoo-hoo! I met with my IVF coordinator, Fran, to make sure since there was a delay on my period, if we needed to update my schedule. Thankfully we won't. Jason & I goto our "shots class" on Thursday. She said we get to practice on a variety of fruits. That should be interesting. I am a bit nervous, but more anxious than anything. My first shot is on the 17th of this month! That will be here before you know it. So far everything is going smoothly. Almost too smoothly for me. I am always really leary when things go too well. I've been in this position before, all this good news & then failure. I am staying postive though. This is a journey I never want to forget, no matter the outcome